


Rectify

by notjustmom



Series: Words, Words, Words [241]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, HLV fix-it, M/M, Missing Scene, Mofftissh, canonish, post Baker Street scene in HLV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 18:40:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7768846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>rectify: verb: REK-tuh-fye: to set right</p><p>Late Middle English: from Old French rectifier, from medieval Latin rectificare, from Latin rectus ‘right.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

John got a cab after they removed Sherlock to Bart's. He hadn't said a word to Mary, could barely stand to look at her, be in the same flat, or even breathe in the same musty air. He had simply followed Sherlock down the seventeen steps and shut the doors once they had him settled. He leaned back against the seat and wondered how in the hell was he ever going to rectify this.

It took them longer to repair the damage in Sherlock's chest than it did to patch the original bullet wound caused by his...wife? Six, no, seven hours of watching Mycroft watch him. Mycroft's gaze was similar to Sherlock's deducing face, but he came to his conclusion faster, he had an innate understanding of the emotional landscape that his brother lacked. No...he could look at emotions with an objective eye, while Sherlock fairly wallowed in them these days.

"Dr. Watson."

"Hmmm?"

"Shouldn't you be at home with your wife? Marriage seems to suit you, seven pounds?"

"Yes, it's seven, and no, marriage does NOT suit me, but thank you for inquiring. I need to be here when he wakes up."

"Why? Didn't you make your choice clear when you married her, and asked him to bestow his blessing on the happy event?"

"I didn't know - I, hmmm, thought I knew who she was, I thought -" John rubbed his face and chose his words carefully. "I thought she was someone I could settle -"

"for or down with?" Mycroft tapped his umbrella impatiently.

John looked into eyes that almost matched his brother's except they lacked the humour and warmth of Sherlock's before he realised Mycroft had asked him a question, and it seemed he wanted an answer.

"Did you settle for Mary Morstan? Or did you honestly believe you were capable of having the house, picket fence -"

"Alright, yes. I settled for her. I thought it would be enough. A child to raise, a new practice with - her, I honestly believed I could do it."

"And now?" Mycroft whispered.

"Now, I know I need to - if he survives the surgery, I need to find a way to -"

"Dr. Watson?"

"Yes?"

"He made it through, he is still in very fragile condition, but you may sit with him. He kept asking for you in the moments of consciousness he had before they put him under. And you are listed here as his next of kin, so you count as family."

"I'm what?" John whispered and slumped back against the wall.

"He made the change before he 'left', he hadn't had a chance to change it back. Dr. Watson, I suggest you make the most of this chance you are being given. I don't know how many more lives my brother has left. Don't. blow. it."

"No. No, I won't -" John turned to thank Mycroft only to find himself alone.

"You can see him now."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just a bit of dialogue...between two idiots

He had fallen asleep with his head resting on his arms, on the foot of Sherlock's bed; had seemed the safest place to be.

"John?" Sherlock whispered.

"Mmmm - I'm here, Sherlock, I'm right here."

"You didn't hear a single bloody word I said, did you?"

"Shh." John put a finger to Sherlock's cracked lips. "I heard you, I just don't happen to believe a single bloody word."

"John - you need to go back, go back to her."

"You don't want me to do that."

"What does it matter what I want?"

"Tell me."

"You know."

"No. I need you to tell me, remember, I'm an idiot."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit more angstyfluff for Silvergirl - veering sharply from the Mofftiss canon at this point...and if you like Mary, this is not your cup of tea.

Sherlock's snort turned into a groan and he grabbed at John's hand holding on as a wave of pain blew through him. "Do I really - have to tell you again?" He whispered, afraid to look into John's eyes. 

"No, love, I've -"

"Don't. Don't you dare. You are just saying that because - why, why are you saying it now?" Sherlock hissed and John drew in a sharp breath as Sherlock's grip on his fingers tightened almost unbearably.

"Look at me, Sherlock? Please?" Sherlock opened his eyes and John saw the misery and pain in the hazy green eyes.

"God. Sherlock. I should never have married her. I should never have asked you to stand up for me, I didn't realise until your spee- no, that's a lie. Damn. I - was selfish, and still hurt from how you came back -"

"I said I was sorry."

"I still don't even know why you did it. Why you had to do it the way you did - to make me watc-" John looked away, but Sherlock's words pulled him back.

"I honestly - he gave me no choice, no real choice. He had snipe - damn this hurts, worse the second go round - NO. You have to let me finish, John. Snipers, one on Mrs. Hudson, on Lestrade and one trained on you. He could have called them off, when he knew he was beaten, but instead, he killed himself right in front of me, blew his brains out. I had no choice, don't you see? You weren't supposed to get back so soon - I didn't want you - damn it, John. I had to do it."

"Why, Sherlock?" John whimpered, tears rolling down his face.

"Because, John Watson," Sherlock wiped the tears from Watson's eyes. "I couldn't exist in a world that didn't have you in it. It's that simple. I realised at the pool, that if Moriarty could see it, it had to be more than painfully obvious to everyone else that I had lost my heart to you - ever since the moment you stepped into the lab that day, something cracked in me, John. I've been walking around with a wound bigger than anything Mary could have ever accomplished. You have to know that. Now, please, go home, John. You need to go ho-."

"Sherlock! No...dammit." John moaned as the alarms rang out and Sherlock collapsed back into the pillows.

The nurses turned him out of the room as they worked to restart Sherlock's heart once more. John watched from the door, praying to the god he had given up on long ago, or whatever entity that happened to be listening at the moment.

Finally, they allowed him back in, reminding him of Sherlock's precarious state. He sat back down and took Sherlock's cold hand in his. "I'm sorry, Sherlock. I love you too, always have - I was just afraid, and you, you idiot, pushed me away that very first night. I - I - you see, I can't imagine living in a world without you in it again, I've done it once, you don't want to know what it was like, I was more or less dead before I met - and then, when you came back like you did, it was like you were laughing at my pain, ridiculing my sentiment, the love I had to bury when you jumped, just so I could take a single breath every morning, and the next ones that followed. Please, please don't make me go back to her. I - you know I'm a terrible liar, you're the one who can - and she always saw through you. She always knew, didn't she...she must have known. Oh. God. Sherlock. I'm so sorry, please forgive me." John laid his head on the bed. After a moment that was in reality a few seconds, but in John's mind was hours, he felt Sherlock's fingers tighten around his.

"There was never anything you ever needed to be forgiven for, John. We'll find another way; please, please don't leave me again?"

"I won't, I swear. Sleep, love, I'll be here when you wake up again. I promise."

 

Mycroft watched from the small window in the door and shook his head.

"Plan B, Anthea. Just take her, we already know the baby isn't his. We'll see if our American friends have any interest in her, if not...."


End file.
